you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize