oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Panties = found
Randomize
