the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
they need to just BURY HIM!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
