so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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