I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
