before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
