found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
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He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
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Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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