I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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