so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
