Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for