So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?