Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse. http://tfl.nu/lj3p
  Replies (16) Good night (5127) Bad night (919)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis http://tfl.nu/uywx
  Replies (19) Good night (4591) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (489): View more from

  watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (489): watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on . http://tfl.nu/coqw
  Replies (48) Good night (5978) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face. http://tfl.nu/dqag
  Replies (11) Good night (1244) Bad night (5134)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is. http://tfl.nu/v0y7
  Replies (9) Good night (967) Bad night (2694)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night? http://tfl.nu/abjo
  Replies (6) Good night (3468) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up. http://tfl.nu/63pe
  Replies (3) Good night (2266) Bad night (876)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood. http://tfl.nu/y4bu
  Replies (7) Good night (3914) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick. http://tfl.nu/ip3w
  Replies (4) Good night (2376) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying http://tfl.nu/8jyo
  Replies (10) Good night (776) Bad night (2932)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was" http://tfl.nu/hg14
  Replies (12) Good night (1254) Bad night (2671)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm dying.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me. (541): I'm dying. http://tfl.nu/wgmh
  Replies (3) Good night (679) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me. http://tfl.nu/7l1e
  Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on. http://tfl.nu/4vca
  Replies (1) Good night (1191) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?

  (309): View more from Illinois

  probably

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (217): Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes? (309): probably http://tfl.nu/mhkm
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (180)

Randomize