Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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