Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?

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  (313): I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can? http://tfl.nu/psgn
  Replies (3) Good night (1031) Bad night (464)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."

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  (614): If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers." http://tfl.nu/20g9
  Replies (6) Good night (1662) Bad night (532)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"

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  (319): Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in" http://tfl.nu/15za
  Replies (64) Good night (5261) Bad night (1035)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him

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  (616): Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him http://tfl.nu/azjb
  Replies (50) Good night (1849) Bad night (4706)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom

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  (917): shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom http://tfl.nu/fv07
  Replies (13) Good night (5754) Bad night (1031)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  wow, a mother in the making

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  (217): if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test (1-217): wow, a mother in the making http://tfl.nu/2c41
  Replies (45) Good night (1648) Bad night (5612)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.

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  (720): Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game. http://tfl.nu/5fqu
  Replies (7) Good night (2165) Bad night (1457)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.

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  (508): I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals. http://tfl.nu/elpv
  Replies (3) Good night (2718) Bad night (658)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.

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  (806): Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party. http://tfl.nu/ld7o
  Replies (4) Good night (2045) Bad night (598)
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  (716): View more from New York

  it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.

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  (716): it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend. http://tfl.nu/9nvz
  Replies (2) Good night (1331) Bad night (701)
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  (714): View more from California

  i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo

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  (714): i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/2wsz
  Replies (2) Good night (1109) Bad night (341)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

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  (305): So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates http://tfl.nu/kad8
  Replies (11) Good night (385) Bad night (1661)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.

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  (516): She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location. http://tfl.nu/ak9e
  Replies (8) Good night (1209) Bad night (582)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.

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  (678): I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please. http://tfl.nu/k3b6
  Replies (4) Good night (846) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police

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  (334): So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police http://tfl.nu/ocot
  Replies (5) Good night (1088) Bad night (174)

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