He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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