It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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