if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize