yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
the gays at disneyland are vicious
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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