Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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