you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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