i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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