you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
