do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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