from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
