Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize