dude i'm inner monologue high
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
