why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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