Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
