Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize