i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
