Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
