the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
