im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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