Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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