something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
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My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
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Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize