Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
