so explain again why im purple
no
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
