When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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