Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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