No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
