I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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