The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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