living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
