at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
