hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
