I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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