party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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