remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
