Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
