This girl is more easily done than said...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
