I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize