White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize