His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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