I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
do herpes really smell.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
