38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.