I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
