Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
