if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Girls should come with a carfax report
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
