Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
false alarm, still single
Randomize
