Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
