he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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