My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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