I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Success! We fucked roommates!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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